#thisisMerrick

I’m a 65-year-old male living in the North East. I’ve been with my partner, Julie, for the past 28 years and we have a 26-year-old son living in Leeds. I work full time in the construction supply-chain industry as a depot manager, supplying various products to large construction projects in the region. My hobbies include gardening, but have mostly revolved around playing the guitar and being involved in the local live music scene for over 50 years. 

Around 4 years ago, I began to have mild stomach complaints and, over the next 3 years, was variously diagnosed with IBS, Diverticulitis, and other conditions. As my symptoms worsened with constant diarrhoea and weight loss, my GP considered bowel cancer and referred me to a specialist. Following the usual scans and tests, I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the small intestine (Neuro Endocrine) and further referred to the “Regional Centre of Excellence”, based at the Freeman Hospital in Newcastle. The consultant explained that, given the location and progression of the tumour, there was no possibility of surgery, chemo or radiotherapy. By now my weight loss was extreme and I’d lost 7 stone. I was incredibly weak and, by last October, remember not having the strength to turn my own front door handle. My consultant urged me to speak to a colleague at the Freeman Hospital who dealt with nutrition and who subsequently explained parenteral nutrition (PN) to me.

I firmly believed I only had weeks to live and was resistant to the idea of spending my remaining short time hooked up to a feeding tube. Thankfully, through their persistence, I reconsidered, and in November was admitted to the Freeman Hospital. I remained in hospital for around 4 weeks while a supplier was appointed to make home deliveries and, as my bags require, a medical fridge was installed in my house. The waiting time in hospital was spent in daily training with one of the Senior TPN nursing staff, ensuring that I was absolutely familiar with the connection/disconnection procedures and with creating a sterile field to carry out the process. Printed and laminated standard operating procedure sheets were provided, with a numbered step-by-step guide to every process, from changing my dressing or connection hub to the daily connection/disconnection sheets.

As I’m largely unable to process food at all, I’m on PN 7 days a week, with each infusion given over a 12-hour period. With a little experimentation and consultation with the PN team, I’ve recently discovered I can get this down to 10 hours by running my pump at 200ml per hour, but please always consult your team before trying something like this.

To say my response to PN was a positive one would be a huge understatement. By January I was feeling more energised and had made a mental shift from “dying from” to “living with” cancer. I asked if I could start exercising, and the PN team boosted the volume and protein content of my infusions to make this more effective.

In February this year I got up in a small music venue and performed a few songs, to see if I still could and, to my delight, all went well, and I’ve since resumed my “gigging” activities. I’m now the owner of an e-bike and try to get out for a couple of hours on a weekend (weather permitting), and I’m routinely lifting small dumb-bells in the spare room to build up upper body strength. (I’m now boasting the “guns” of a 12-year-old boy!) I’ve also transformed our garden and am back at work full time. In short, I’ve a pretty full life and feel better than I have in years!

At a recent appointment with my consultant we were informed that my tumour seems to have done what damage it’s going to for now, is not growing or spreading, and appears to be having a rest. Adding that he’ll see me in 6 months, the consultant also remarked on how well I looked and followed up with “you’ve made my day!” You can imagine how good I felt as we walked from his office, and Julie and I decided on the spot that it was time to book a holiday. In fact we booked two!

A trip takes a little bit of planning when on PN, but the team prescribed me “holiday/ambient” bags that didn’t require refrigeration, along with soluble protein supplements to compensate for anything lacking. A conversation with Jet2 ensured I had an extra full 22kg allowance at no extra charge and, along with a “fit to fly” letter from the doctor, a full description from the pharmacy producing the PN bags, and a further letter from my team explaining the necessity that these items are delivered intact and untampered with to my destination, we were ready to go and prepared for any eventuality. 

I’m sharing photos of my recent holiday as well as me pursuing my favourite hobby and pretending to be a popstar! 

Nobody can currently predict how much longer my cancer will remain in its present state, but I feel positive, and my strength and fitness continue to improve on PN. The cancer diagnosis has made me consider death, but also what’s important in life and to edit accordingly.

Right now, I’m being the best version of myself, and I feel like I’m living my best life!

Can PN improve your circumstances? I’d have to answer with a resounding yes!